Best excuse for playing loud music?


Have you ever been told to turn the volume down on you hifi system? What is your best excuse for offending someone else?

The best I have heard came from a friend back in high school. His brother used to play music really loud in his upstairs bedroom. When his mother would ask him to turn it down, he would say, "I can't, I'm recording." His mother bought the excuse every time.
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A few years ago, before I married and bought a house, I lived in an apartment. My neighbors above me were nice people--very quiet and decent. Then they moved out. In moved another couple. They were pretty quiet, too--except when they were copulating, which seemed to happen more regularly than a Seinfeld rerun. And they moved all over the house during their throes--which made escaping the noise all the more difficult. And, man, could they get LOUD. The chick made Maria Callas look like Marianne Faithfull--she could hit some serious peaks. In an attempt to flee this carnal assault, I would crank my stereo--at the time a Tact Millennium, Accustic Arts transport, and pair of Dunlavy Cantatas--which would inevitably piss off the blue-haired spinster next door. I resorted to my old Stax headphones, until they broke and had to be sent back to the factory. It was then that I faced my darkest days: an hour or two of tantric love mewling per day, EVERY day, for the next two months. Caught like a rat, between Pam and Tommy above me and a cane-wielding old battleax beside me. Finally, after about two months, the sonic love barrage stopped--just like that. I later found out that the couple broke up and the chick moved out. Without his little love bunny, the guy shut up and went back to being a relatively normal neighbor. Oh, and the spinster moved out too--leaving me and my stereo to enjoy many high-decibel nights in peace. Until the next couple moved in. But that's a story for another day. :)
"WHAT! NO! IT'S NOT LOUD! IT'S WHAT'S KNOWN AS HI FIDELITY! IT JUST SEEMS LOUD! WHAT DO YOU THINK I SPENT ALL THAT MONEY FOR??????????