Funniest sales pitch


What is the funniest sales pitch you've read? My current favorite is one I just read today. It was,"I'm selling these speakers because they are too good for me."
makersmark
It was with great delight that I saw the advertisement featuring the thonged mono blocks.

I wasn't familiar with the manufacturer, however. Is Crack a British product?
This make no sense...

here we have a pretty rare telefunken amp,tuner,preamp,and cassette deck all in very good working order. it really cranks out the output. sounds better then my 2252b marantz more punch more midrange and bass. very nice system

..so sell the Marantz!!!!!
Here comes a real one from the fresh add:

about 1 year old, excellent condition, havent used in over >8 months since selling everything else and getting a new hobby (BMW M3!) selling house and moving to apartment, so out of the hobby for good (though you never know?)
I saw an ad a while back that actually used the term "well endowed audiophile" for pushing some hyper-expensive (probably bobonium based) stuff.

KP