please help! which turntable , michell gyro se ,, pro ject rpm 10 carbon ,, avid diva 2 ?

You be a lookin’ for one of them till the cows come home!

There are several options for adding a auto-lift mechanism. The original Audio Technica AT6006a seems to be what they are all modeled around.  

Good Listening

Peter 

@ yogiboy: Then I’ll wait for the cows and play high quality digital instead.

@ pbnaudio: Not doing an external auto lift mechanism. Had one on a Rega Planar 2 in the late 70s and the arm would shoot up with a thud when it worked accurately- which was less than three-quarters of the time...IF it stayed glued in place. Bought a Denon TT with an auto shut off and loved it until I stupidly decided to sell it off for an ear-bleeding Sony CD101.

The amount allotted to each item is not right, IMO.          

OP mentions: "" 2,500-3,000$ for a turn table , about 500$ for a tonearm , around 400-600$ for a cardridge , and i want to go with a tube phono and i’m thinking for the pro ject one ,, its around 500$ , and maybe update the tone arm wires for another 300$ ,, i have a set of good rca wires from phono to pre amp ,, so if the setup cost me 4000$ i will be really happy , but the max i can spend is 5000$ ""   
IMO if all you are spending is $500 for cart, no way do you need 'upgraded tonearm wires." at all And as a first time buyer, absolutely get a tonearm and table in one package!!  fitting a separate toenarm to a table is a PITA and easy to go totally wrong.  
As for used.. Used turntables are way overpriced 200% or more, at this point. So much so, I would say buy new. The big places will fit the cartridge to the TT for you and do it well.  I would spend about $800 to $1000 for the cartridge. in a $5K total setup.  And NO rewiring any tonearms!
The other point to look at is the phono box, which you can buy used. I would look at $700 to $1200 used boxes.So the actual TT and arm combo new around $2000 to $2900
Music Direct is a great place to call and ask about what would be good for your needs. Audio Advisor is another place to look at turntables, but not quite the level of expertise of Music Direct.
The main reason to avoid a used turntable is if there are problems. Buying new you can get help from the store. Buying a used turntable can become a total can of worms!Anyway, that is my advice.

Listen to elizabeth. Her advice is as good as it gets. I've listened!