About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone


Many of us have come to know Patrick Malone (Lugnut) as a friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and kind individual. He is a frequent and enthusiastic contributor to our analog discussion forum. He has initiated only 17 threads, but responded to 559 threads. I would guess that many, if not most, of us can recall a time when Pat replied with helpful advice to a question we posted or helped us track down a rare recording. I have come to love Pat as a friend, and to respect him as a man, and I suspect many of you share those feelings.

Today I write to share difficult news with you. Pat has been diagnosed with an aggressive stomach cancer. It has yet to be determined whether surgery will even be worth it. If surgery is performed, most or all of the stomach will be removed, and Pat would face a difficult and long post-op period in the hospital. The medical course is still uncertain, but will be determined soon. Whatever is decided, it will not be easy or pleasant.

Something may be planned in the future to assist the family. For now, Pat could use some of the friendship he so often and willingly showed us. You can email Pat at: lugnut50@msn.com. You can also mail cards, letters ... or whatever. You may email me for Pat's mailing address. My email is: pfrumkin1@comcast.net.

I hope to spend a few days with Pat in Idaho or Nebraska (from which he hails) soon. Between this news, my legal work, getting ready for family arriving for the holidays, Audio Intelligent, and trying to make plans to visit Pat, my head is spinning. If you email me and I don't respond, please understand that I am not ignoring you, but rather simply do not have time to reply.

Pat may or may not have time to respond to posts here, to emails, or to cards mailed to him. But he has asked me to convey to each and every one of you that he has cherished your friendship, your comradery, and sharing our common hobby on this great website.

As we prepare for our holiday season celebrations, and look forward to -- as we should -- enjoying this time of year, I ask that you keep Pat and his family in mind ... and softly offer up, in quiet moments in the still of night and early morning, prayers for Pat and his family. God bless.

Warmest regards to all,
Paul Frumkin
paul_frumkin
Pat, thank you for your update. Your one hell of a guy!!

I want to tell you a little story, and I hope it doesn't bore you. About 20 years ago, my dad was in the hospital, faced with having his decision on whether he would undergo his 2nd bypass surgery. He had been thru it all before about 8 years prior and had come to the conclusion that he would rather not deal with going thru it all again. My 2 brothers and my mom talked me into going in and trying to talk him into having the surgery. Playing on his possible ability to continue to see his grandkids grow up, I told him that we all wanted him to have the surgery. The docs at the time gave him a 50/50 chance of surviving the surgery. I could tell he didn't want to, but if everyone wanted him to, he would have it. Long story short, he had the surgery, but never had much of a life afterwards. As a matter of fact, it proved to be a living hell for him the next 7 years. Both legs amputated way up past the knees, daily cramps and phantom pains that would have him literally screaming for up to 24 hours at a time. Even large amounts of morphine did no good to give him relief. I have long regretted talking him into having that last bypass surgery and have cried about it many times. He passed away about 5 years ago, and before he died, I told him how sorry I was for talking him into doing what he really didn't want to do. He laughed and said, that it was his decision all along and that I shouldn't worry about it. I leaned down and gave him a big hug and kissed his forehead. We both had tears running down our faces, as I do now talking about it. When my dad died after years of pain and torment, he just went to sleep and didn't wake up. It was kind of cool though, he actually had a smile on his face, which was something I had not seen from him in a long time. I felt sadness and loss, but those were my own selfish feeling for my loss. It took a very short time before I got a very vivid realization, that I feel was placed there by a power greater than myself. I could imagine my dad dancing with angels. His long suffering was over and I was greatful for his peace. he deserved it. He had fought a long battle and finally got his just reward.

What I learned from this, was it is each persons own decision to decide their lifes choices. It is my responsibility to support that persons choice and accept it. This actually has very little to do with what you are going thru, but any choice you make will be fully supported by me. Thank you for sharing your difficult times with me. It means more to me than you will ever realize. May Gods love and peace be with you!

Steve
Pat,
I read your detailed post about what your body, and, in a sort of almost detached, absolutely rivetingly honest way, you described what your mind and soul are going through.......I did a double take, shook my head and conclude that, in my entire life, I have never witnessed or been privy to such a display of 1)total honesty in the face of almost indescribable discomfort and total realization of the facts, unobscured, unfiltered and unsmeared or filtered from your full consciousness 2) total lack of self-pity, 3) preservation of your appreciation of what's important to you right up to the end, but 4) most starkly, undisguised and screaming loudly at us all is this message that hangs out there, as if suspended for all to see, hear and touch:

I, Lugnut, am near the end of the road, but I will bare it all and live what's left with all of you, because you all may benefit from what I'm telling you and feeling and thinking. It may change your (ours, that is) way of dealing with life, death, pleasures, disappointments and put them all in a perspective that reading your epic journey will cement in a different, shuddering way.

In my book you stand alone in my encounters of persistent and unflinching pure-bloooded guts and fiber for this last hugely selfless and, costly, to your energy and resources, stand to drum into us the real and relative values of life's hills, valleys, cliffs, volcanoes and peaks, which you articulate to us as you coast them daily. The biggest shock - not in a sense that I am surprised that it is you who is the author - rather than the fact that anybody, not yet sainted or deified - can have this strength and will to make a statement of this magnitude.......this blows me away.

May your final thoughts and solace be not that you have guided us, albeit true, but that you have left a legacy for Barb and your gene pool that any other Medal of Honor winner, will look down at you, smile and say, "Yeah, he is one of us..........." This legacy to your family will be peerless, matchless and priceless to them in their years ahead, not to mention the genes giving them the same Right Stuff to achieve their own amazing feats of living that their forebear did. That is your royal prize, the biggest of them all. That will be the thought and satisfaction that will finally allow you to go in real peace............

I am sorry, deeply, that I didn't ever meet you, but believe you me, we know you. And we are infintely richer for it.

Thanks, Pat.
Though we have only met through TWL at this past Denver show, reading this thread since that time has restored my faith in the inherent goodness of humankind. I have grown quite cynical regarding audio forums and this is my first post in a long, long time. Praise God it is here having to do with two very beautiful human beings.

To Barbara and Pat;

Forever may you run...

Your Brother in Christ, Ted
One day hopefully not too soon there will be a post that says Lugnut passed away last night. His journey has brought so much closeness amongst A'goners that I would like to know what we are supposed to do after he's gone. Do we tell Lugnut stories, correspond with eachother, with Barb? I know we'll all mourn his passing but maybe there's a way to keep the spirit he has awakened in all of us alive. Any suggestions? This includes any you may have Pat and I am sorry for relegating you to the past tense.