And again - this is not a gender thing at all. A few male friends have also, as @gshepardbuster mentioned, shown themselves to be afraid of silence.
I hadn't considered that a factor before but it makes sense. I'm perfectly happy being alone for hours (or days) in a forest, desert, or in front of speakers or a book. Many are not.
|
In my ersatz defense, @asp307 and others, I had invited my friend over to listen to some tunes - specifically - and he texted, "Can I bring my wife?" Which turned it into a dinner invitation. So should I have abandoned the original invite and just made it a dinner get-together?
|
I don't expect every one in the world "outside" of our thing to get it, but a surprising number do--they could care less about the gear, but love to hear music presented in a way that is lively and visceral. For those who aren't interested, I don't impose my interest on them. I do far more listening alone than I do with others, but when guests who are interested come, they seem to know how to behave without any set of "rules." I have a dedicated room, and usually just ask what kind of music they like. Perhaps they realize that the experience is unusual, it's a novelty for many who aren't exposed to "serious" playback set-ups. If this lady wasn't interested, and demonstrated that by talking over the music and playing with her phone, easy answer- don't invite her to listen next time. Life is too short- and sometimes too long-- to spend your time in a way that makes you dissatisfied. I understand that in marriage, or relationships, there is a certain amount of socializing that is necessary if only to keep your mate happy. But, if there is something I don't want to do, or people I'm not really that interested in spending time with, I don't. |
Asp307, to my defense, the 2 friends were all about the intense listening session. Having not been involved in one before, they were curious. My friend with the phone was just not being a good little zen grasshopper, and I encouraged him that if he would not distract himself, he would enjoy it more. He did! But that is a specific situation. I would not behave that way to anyone anytime. |
I have 20-30 people at my house every other month. Good food, drinks and conversation out side the music room. Everything is perfect and everyone's respectful.
People come in, grab a record and put it in the listening cue. No one touches the record player except me.
Civilized. |
I agree with jmcgrogan2, best to real listening alone. Even amongst audiophiles, your system is fine tuned to you and may not be the "be all and end all" for someone else. When I rode a motorcycle, while it was fun to have a girlfriend on board, I could never really open it up and ride like the wind because the way I did it was dangerous and I had to be responsible. I live in a pretty small apartment and when we have guests over I don't spin vinyl, I don't fire up the tube amps, I don't expect people to stop talking. Decent computer speakers creating some pleasant background noise, that's what most folks seem to able to handle. When I have a few hours on my own... :) |
And then we all scratch our heads and wonder why others aren't running to hifi and why the hobby is dying... |
@marktomaras "the offending conversationalist." Omg...you guys are too much. And then you tell your friend who probably grew tired and bored of your listening session to put his phone in the other room...you have some very understanding friends Mark.. |
To expect your guests to "abide by ground rules for critical listening" is hilarious...I couldn't envision myself ever doing something like that. I listen mostly by myself especially critical listening. Why would you expect your guests, many of whom probably aren't into cymbal decay, timbre and thwap, to sit there in what they probably thought was a social setting and only talk in between tracks?
if my friend invites me over to specifically listen to his rig, fine I'll be quiet and listen intently. If my wife and I are invited over I highly doubt the two of us are going to sit mute on the couch and only talk in between tracks to the others. To pull off what you are looking to do I would limit and target your invite/s to those you know are into it.
Now if you want to lay down ground rules in the hopes of these people never wanting to come over again then I could see doing so... |
When I have my listening parties I make sure I set up a nice spread in the kitchen and a small bar outside. I then casually say to anyone that enters the house "welcome, the systems for listening, the kitchen and patio are for chatting."
And...absolutely no woman are invited ever. I put my wife up in a hotel. |
|
You know what they say: "there are a million and one uses for duck tape". |
I have had the same experience. I think there is a fine line between politely asking the offending conversationalist to keep quiet and letting it be. If you think they would appreciate it, perhaps try the former, if you think you will offend, perhaps lean to the latter.
I was having a full-on listening session with two friends, and one was glued to his phone the entire time. While he was not making any noise, he certainly was not focusing on the music, nuances or otherwise, and I knew he was not getting out of the experience what my other friend and I were. I suggested that he put the phone in the other room, sit back, close the eyes, and get lost in the music. He protested at first, but he did this, and enjoyed it.
I often explain my hi-fi kit to the uninitiated as more than a fancy expensive stereo, but actually as high resolution equipment to recreate the reality of the recording, live or studio, to put the listener right there, in that room, to connect our ears to the musician's song. This is obvious to anyone on audiogon, but explaining it this way kind of sets the scene that this is not the same as the ceiling speakers in the rest of the house that we can chat and play cards to. |
Much like George Thorogood's system of drinking alone, I listen alone, yeah, with nobody else.
You know when I listen alone, I prefer to be by myself. ;^)
|
Most people are uncomfortable remaining silent. My boss rocks out in his company truck and even will play tunes over the company radio. He was at the house in my stereo room with tunes playing and was like meh... He did comment that he bet the thing jammed, to which I said yes but I am no longer a "crank it" dude.
|
