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The partner or wife factor

Most of us don't live alone. We have to contend with the people, we share our living space with. This can be a huge asset to our hobby, sometimes a detriment. Sometimes, listening with a loved one can deepen our involvement with the music and shared hobbies are a source of joy through the years, sometimes the hobby can be a continual source of bickering and trigger resentment and,in a worst case setting, separation either from the system or from the partner. I personally, in my long life, have both met with intelligent support for, but also viscious resentment of my gear, as systems and partners changed.( Systems more than parners) The shortest episode, hilarious actually, was when a ladyfriend , led by me proudly to the listening area , shrieked "electrosmog....!!" You can rest assured, she didn't stay very long. What about your experiences? Joyful, painful, helpful, destructive, funny or amorous ones? Very curious....
detlof
chashmal
605 posts
 
The only way I can really get into music, and the associated gear, is alone. My wife comes into the sound room by invitation because it is also my studio (I am a visual artist). When she does she demands to hear Cannon's Jog Stompers or Blind Blake (1926-32 recordings). Then maybe Arvo Part, and then she gets antsy and wants to leave. It's a good arrangement because I really listen alone. When she is there I am enjoying her presence more than the music anyway.
mrtennis
3,295 posts
 
if people are rational and communication is possible, all problems can be solved.

it is possible for the "addicted" person to educate and have many talks with the "disinterested" person. it helps to have some love and respect so comprimises can be made.

in my case i have my gear in a separate room and i frequently ask my wife to confirm what i hear. i get a kick out of her comments when she says "that sounds muffled".

i occasionaly play music that i don't like just to please her. she is very tolerant, but disinterested.
abucktwoeighty's avatar
abucktwoeighty
1,034 posts
 
My wife has put up with my upgrades for the last few years without much fuss. I went from a system that was worth around 15 hundred to my current system, which cost quite a bit. When she wants something, she usually gets it, like the new deck and front porch we are putting in, with a new lawn to follow. I didn't hesitate to agree with the deck/porch/lawn, even though I had multiple thoughts, and suggestions of different system upgrades, of which, she politely declined. She's been the greatest with my habit. I always turn the music down, or off, when she is around because she had 3 brain hemorrhages about ten years back, and still has very severe headaches on a regular basis, and once in a while she needs to take some heavy duty medication to quell them. Yeah, she's been real good to me, and I return the favor.
detlof OP
1,899 posts
 
It feels good to see my old thread revived, thanks to Chashmal and the virtual vaults of A. I think it was the great George Steiner, one of the finest literary minds of our times, Professor of Comparative Literature at Chicago, Oxford and Geneva who said and here I quote: " To listen to music with the loved one is to be in a condition simultaneously private,almost autistic, yet strangely welded to another (shared reading, reading aloud, does not achieve this)." I know this to be true and lucky the man who has a companion who would share his love for music in the same way.
The quote by the way, is from Steiner's book "ERRATA, an examined life", Yale University Press, 1998. His chapter on music is highly recommended, especially to those, who like me are in never ending wonderment about what music does to us and why.
jorgeparrapuppy
257 posts
 
$1.280: You are a good man!
Detlof: You sound like someone I would've liked having as
a professor back in college. Your comments have more substance than the usual poster, including myself.
Not to sound cheezy or anything. :)
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