Why Put Up With "Wife Approval Factor"?


During the past few weeks there have been a number of posts regarding finding cables, racks, and other items that wives and girlfriends "approve" of. It would appear that some of these choices have to be made so as not to "disturb" or "change" some type of decorating plan. Or that the choices might "clash" with the existing decor or home layout.
This leads me to question just "how important" audio really is for some of these folks. Or to maybe tweak a few noses the wrong way, ask how henpecked are some of these people? Haven't they made it clear to the wife or girlfriend that audio is a serious long-term interest; not just an expensive way to play background music? Haven't they made it clear that a first rate audio system is every bit as important to them as a nice jewelry item or set of furniture is to the wife or girlfriend?
While I realize that some of us have the luxury of a dedicated listening room; for many of us the family room or
living room is where the bulk of our main audio systems reside. What's wrong with having a nice looking audio set-up
in those rooms? The days of "sitting rooms" where TV screens and audio equipment are hidden is long gone. The only places that type of space exist any longer are in those "decorator" magazines that show the homes of the well-to-do and other decorators.
What are your thoughts?
avideo
Avideo,

Your comments about decorators is not really accurate. I owned a home theater business which installed custom home theater, and other things, and the overwhelming desire (almost no exception) was that the women wanted the equipment invisible (most men too but usually they could be presuaded). It didn't matter if it wasn't the optimal set up, they didn't want to see all that "ugly" equipment (speakers and electronics) out in their beautiful rooms (even those dedicated for theater).

We need to remember that the audio "hobby" is VERY rare. I heard a statistic once that said less than 1% of the entire population even knows high-end audio exists. The vast majority of people don't know that a $8000 CD player (single play at that) exists and when told they are shocked and don't understand how that could happen. Then if I tell them that they can go much higher 30k+, they just get glassy eyed and shake their heads. No one can imagine WHY anyone would spend that kind of money on a "stereo" let alone let the thing dominate a room, or worse yet, rooms.

If I told these people that I spent 30k on an audio ONLY system they just can't process it. If I were to tell the same people that I spent 30k on a new boat, they would congratulate me, think it was cool, and be jealous. They may wonder where I got the money but they wouldn't look at me with the deer-in-the-headlights look.

People don't understand our hobby and it is best, IMHO, to just except that and move on. On top of this, within the hobby itself, the % of women who share our interest is extremely small...not non-existant but certainly the vast exception. So, if you put this factor together with the other, what are the odds of being with a woman who "gets it" or at least can honor our VERY ODD "hobby"?

It takes a mighty loving person to put up with this weird hobby. Men (usually) who, in most other respects, seem reasonable and "normal" but who will spend thousands and thousands of dollars on...lets face it, really frivilous spending creates a disconnect for the most reasonable mind. These normally sane men will adjust their life-style, in many cases (small % of us are just wealthy), just to make room for this habit in their budgets (the Civic comment above is a perfect example). People just can't make this leap in logic.

So, the WAF is sooooo understanable and we need to embrace it as an element of the hobby. I don't get mad because I find that, to get the best sound, I have to spend more on cable. In kind, I don't get mad if I have to negociate the WAF to get better sound. I need to plan, adjust, educate, yes manipulate my thinking and budget to allow for the next piece in the audio puzzle. The same is true with the Wife/significant-other approval factor.

We need to take the necessary steps to bring our loved ones into our world...to accept (at least) or even better to join our way. The very small % of us whose wives don't need any work are the rare, and blessed, group. The rest of us have to work hard and plan, almost as hard as we do for individual equipment choices, to bring our lovers onboard.

I don't feel bad, none of us should, that we have to work for challenge and change, aggreement and compromise, dispute and negociation, education and understanding. This is high-end audio isn't it?

All we can do is try and build a bridge of understanding. This building, for most of us, is an ongoing process. When our bridge makes connection with the other side, then rejoycing is heard in Zion.

If after tremendous work (years) we can't bring our loved ones over (read books on negociating change, love, compromise, etc and share these with your SO)...make a plan work the plan: if though after that effort we can't win them over, we need to either give up the hobby or.......lie, manipulate, cheat, dominate. Hmmm, let me think....

Happy listening,
charles
Tok2000, in what country or state are these women that you speak of? These women that make more than they spend. I would agree that these women would not cost money, but I've never met any of them. I would like to though. Please tell me where they live.
I once saw a "designer's challenge" episode on HGTV.
The gentleman homeowner owned B&W Nautilus 805 speakers.
When the designer was done, the stands had been removed
and the speakers were placed on top of a tall cabinet.
It gave me a sickening feeling in my stomach.

By the way, in our home the wife is also the audio-nut.
My husband enjoys the ride, immensely. We only have
two requirements, (1) Equipment placement takes precedence,
(2) there need to be some chairs.
Mwilson: My Klipsch are VERY far from stock. I really should not even call them "Klipsch" any more. I intend to do a complete re-design with all new cabinets this coming winter. This should extend their bass another 20 Hz or so according to my calculations and DRASTICALLY clean up their lower mids / upper bass. The big problem there has to do with internal reflections / standing waves in the bass horn itself. The mid and tweeter horns along with the crossovers were addressed long ago and have been part of an evolutionairy process. I've incorpororated some of these changes into my current models, but such changes are strictly "band aids" unless done from scratch and built into the design to begin with. That is what i intend to do with this "final ( HA HA HA ) upgrade". As mentioned, these are running in my basement system and are driven by an "antique" 1961 Marantz model 8 power amp.

John: I've mentioned the same thing to my girlfriend about "common law marriage". I told her that she will have to move out for a month or two and then we can get back together. I don't think i need repeat her thoughts on that subject as you probably already have a good idea as to what she said : ) Sean
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JMCgrogan2

Many of those financially independent women, in my experience, live in New York City.

And if you are anything like me, you wouldn't want to date, let alone marry one of them, even if they willingly spent large portions of their high flying paychecks on exotic audio presents for you. Unless of course, you REALLY want to be dominated and henpecked...

Slightly better, perhaps, when the situation has resulted from an inheritance but some would still argue: "Marry for money; earn every penny."

Don't change. Don't compromise. Enjoy Audio.