Maybe a ridiculous question, maybe not

I have a Signet stylus cleaner that "vibrates" at a high rate. There were several companies in the past that made these.

I'll vote for riduculous if you're taking a survey.

Try it on a worthless lp and let us know. It seems reasonable that it would work. I used to scrub pretty aggressively with my VPI brush at times with no negative effects.

I might add, if you do it, make sure you're using it on a revolving record.

Only if the record has just eaten. Brush after meals for better performance.

I vote for worth a try, similar idea as megasonic clean and should be very effective in cleaning deep down in the groove. semiconductor industry uses megasonic to clean wafer all the time.

Don't use toothpaste!

I have thought about it. I actually DO use a toothbrush (common) to scrub LPs clean. The toy I want is a irrigator. If the water jet was a nice clean smooth (relatively) high pressure job with the ability to run for hours without problems..
The main point of any cleaning is to get the stuck on/in dirt out. The real thing that does this is the liquid and cleaning agents in it (I use common dish soap). Whatever is used as a solvent, it needs to be capable of getting the crud out of the grooves. The best way to let it do this is time.
Any cleaning agent in water can do a decent job.. but needs time sitting on the LP. The way to reduce this time is either scrubbing more.. or using fancy enzymes to speed up the time needed to get the crud to 'release', or as you seek, some sort of vibration device to speed up the cleaning process.
Personally, I have found that buying cleaner LPs in the first place is nicer!!!
The Oracle carbon fiber brush (NOS 25 years old) I have works wonders without having to wash.

Hey, Tony, how's Andy Kaufman?