what kills soundstage depth?

Shadorne
changed to the configuration that you outlined. It does get rid of the headphone effect. I still feel like the presentation is 2 dimensional but at least it is not right up in my face. I think that I will try pulling the speakers way out in to the room temporarily in a completely non wife approced manner and see if that dosent create more space.
I may not be able to get what I want with these speakers. I heard some maggies at a dealer a few weeks back and even though they were a foot and a half or so off of the back wall and there was stuff in between them, they produced a soundstage that seemed to extend a few feet behind the back wall. It was quite a trick. I just dont want them in my living room.

A dipole type radiation pattern will increase your sensation of depth due to midrange energy being reflected off the back wall.

You could also play with rake if you haven't yet. Raise the front of the speaker half an inch to start and move it up or down according to what you hear.

I haven't listened to a box speaker yet that didn't need some kind of rake adjustment to get the sound right.

Rake made a difference too.
Thanks folks. Gotta go about finding the most stable way to set the rake. I have target stands that have carpet spikes that are adjustable in height. But I don't think I want something that heavy leaning. So I am thinking that I will find something to put under the front of the monitor boxes. Any ideas?