I wanna hear some "audio" jokes...and

...announced as the world's funniest joke:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: ’Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: ‘OK, now what?’

How about the polar bear cub who says to his mom, are you sure I'm a polar bear?
She says of course you are.
A little while later he says, you are sure aren't you?
She says of course your a polar bear.
Again, a short time later he asks her if she is positive and she says of course I'm absolutely positive your a polar bear, whats put these thoughts into your head?
He says, But mom, I'm f**king cold.

This joke is somehow related to many our audio problems!

A jew comes to see a Rabbi and complains
--Rabbi, what should I do? My chicken are dying one by one everytime!
Rabbi seeks the answer in talmud and replies:
--Try to wash them all in ocean water.
So Jew appreciated rabbi, went home and washed chicken with ocean water. After a couple of days he comes back to rabbi with the same problem:
--I washed off my chicken with ocean water but they're still dying!
Rabbi seeks the answer in talmud and replies:
--Try to feed them with the fresh radish.
So Jew appreciated rabbi, went home and fed his chicken with the fresh radish. After a couple of days he comes back to rabbi...:
--Rabbi, my chicken are all dead!
--Oh, I'm so sorry but I still have so many great ideas!

A little boy asked his Grandfather, "Grandpa, can you talk like a frog?". His Grandfather said, "No,Sonny, I can't. Why do you ask?" The little boy replied, "Because Grandma said when you croak we're all going to Hawaii".

A SILENT JOKE(no audio video only!)

A man and his wife are having a silent break(probably due to the expencive stereo acquired)and communicate only through written notes.

Once man writes a note to his wife:

Darling,
Please wake me up at 5am. I've got to catch the plain to Europe tomorrow. Good Night!

Next morning the man gets up at 9am frustrated that he actually missed his flight and finds under his pillow the following note:

Good Morning Darling!
It's already 5am
Please, wake up!
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POWER SUPPLY:

Two electicians are fixing the power line climbed on the electric columns and see the near-by old lady is passing-by.

One of the guys sais:

Mam, would you please help us to pick up that wire on the ground?
And the lady helped and gave this wire to one of the electrician.

After that the electrician replies:

I told you, this was a zero wire!

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TWEAKIN' ISSUES:

A blondie cannot start her malfunctioned Mercedes 500.
Another blondie comes by in her Jaguar and trying to help her friend to start Mercedes:
--Did you wipe your headlights and tail lights?
--Yes.
--Are they shiny?
--Yes.
--Did you wipe your dashboard and seats?
--Yes.
--Are they shiny?
--Yes.
--Did you wipe your rims
--Yes.
--Shiny?
--Yes.
--I regret, but I can't help you than :=(