How to respond to those who say it's not a hobby?


I only recently started to get into audio and, although my system is definitely not in the high-end category, I like to think it's a lot better than the components that were replaced My better-half was quite accepting of the initial purchase of a new integrated amp (NAD C370), tuner (C420), speakers (KEF Q5) and interconnects (VDH D-102 III). She definitely heard an improvement over our previous gear.

However, she is now quite opposed to the upgrading of the CD player and the addition of a second amp (bi-amping). I've mentioned that it will likely make a great improvement to our listening enjoyment and hinted that this is a new hobby for me. Essentially, her response was that "spending hundreds of dollars on audio equipment does not qualify as a hobby", since I don't actually create/build/assemble any of it.

Any thoughts out there about how one might respond or convince the nay-sayer otherwise?
mghcanuck
Definitely go out & upgrade that source component asap; the biamping might wait awhile however.
Then when you're coming home late from the bar & chasing skirts, you can rationalize that it isn't a hobby either (just be damn sure that you're not "creating anything", but then again, you do need a hobby ... right?).
Try to audition some stuff with return privileges. Get her
input as to if she can tell a positive difference. Just a
thought!
Here's my take: What she is communicating to you is not "it's not a hobby". What she's trying to communicate (and has, it sounds like) is "I don't want you spending money on a new CD player and amp". After hearing this, you justified the purchase by saying it's a hobby, so now she counters with "technically, it's not a hobby".

Your secondary argument over the hobby-ness of audio is not the real issue. You're arguing over money, plain and simple. You're in good company, it's the number one subject of argument among couples. It's interesting that your better half sounded quite accepting of your non-hobby until the purchases crossed her comfort level.

It's not relevant whether audio qualifies as a hobby or not, there's no "true" answer to that question. I would stop looking for ways to convince her, as this usually creates the opposite result of what the convincer intends. My advise to you is to sit down with her when you both are in a good mood, and talk about money. Work out for your relationship what the limits are (if any) on purchases and how you individually can make purchasing decisions while still being a part of a couple. The time and effort you spend here will really pay off, as this subject will come up again and again. When she speaks, listen to her perspective and shut up. When she's all done, tell her you understand her perspective. Then tell her your perspective. Then when that's all done start finding solutions together.

You may end up being able to get all the electronics you want AND have a more fulfilling relationship at the same time. It's all about communication.
Tell her you are in a mid-life crisis, and you're either going to have an affair, buy a Harley, or upgrade your cd player.
She'll make the choice for you.
Timing is everything. If money is not a problem then go ahead and FINISH your system and plan on living with it a few years. If you do have a BUDGET and she feels it is not time, then wait. You really do not need to justify your interests in audio/music nor have her validate the interests. Hence do not actively seek her approval of your interests. You can involve her without allowing her involvement to dictate your level of involvement. That said, you do need to stay within the realm of whatever financial agreement you two have for discretionary spending. Timing, timing, timing! If it ain't time...wait.