Rudeness With 'net Sales

I tend to agree that buying on eBay from those with large numbers of transactions to their name has generally been a good experience. But being repeatedly treated like an ex-con when I make a polite enquiry irritates me. Obviously these guys have got burned by difficult buyers, and so it is the buyers that are probably the cause of the problem.

I have a friend who tends to go to the same restaurants all the time, and does so because he likes to be recognised and respected when he goes out to eat. I have always found that a bit amusing, but suddenly begin to understand how he feels. I think in his case it may be the prejudice against his race that has caused him to shy away from going somewhere new. Perhaps I am getting a similar problem with US dealers who see me as another troublesome foreign buyer.

It is heartening to hear that others are finding doing business over the internet is working for them. How many of you are not from the USA?

Redkiwi, your issue regarding transactions between people in different countries is a very valid point. I can see how both buyers and sellers would be wary of an international transaction.

This is why I must commend such Agon members as Haruo and Robbychan who live in Canada and Australia, respectively. They have both shown the utmost honesty and trust in me, even though I live in Los Angeles, California, USA.

I too have encountered sellers who were very curt or unwilling to offer further explanation of their items for sale. As you said, they may have had bad experiences previously and don't want to go through days of correspondence only to have the buyer unexpectedly bail out. But when I get a response like that my initial thought is that they may be getting an inordinate number of e-mails for the same item I'm interested in, and are trying their best to answer all the inquiries.

That being said, I always try to get a vibe of the person I'm dealing with first. If they seem like nice people and are willing to answer my questions, I feel that much better about buying from them. It can be time consuming, but building a repoire with the other party can help make both sides feel good about the transaction. Heck, one guy even knocked over 10% off the price and said he'd half the shipping with me. And this is without me even asking for a lower price. The price he had listed was already quite fair. So I told him that he was being very generous, and I'd cover the entire 2-day shipping.

Lastly, in my experience the people I've completed a smooth and friendly transaction with ALWAYS leave positive feedback. It can be disheartening when you leave someone good feedback and they don't reciprocate with ANY feedback. Completing a fun transaction and making a new friend makes this hobby that much more fun.

redkiwi: i fear you are subject to being painted by a too-broad brush merely because you reside outside the usa. i'd bet there are plenty of "regulars" who inhabit this chatroom, including me, who would happily provide you with a set of "references" you might email to internet sellers in order to establish easily your bona fides. just a thought but let us know how we might assist. -kelly

Thanks Cornfedboy. I have had similar generous offers of help in the past from Jadem6, Albertporter and Brulee, and it means a lot to me to be offered such help - but I suppose I shy away from taking advantage of their friendship. Why would I risk their friendship for the sake of a deal that might go wrong in a way I cannot control - a bit like the point made by the character Robert Redford plays in "Out Of Africa" about friends and lending them books. I keep friendship and business in different baskets in my life.

I am feeling a bit self-indulgent posting this whinge.

After many internet transactions I am just feeling inclined to be loyal to a few dealers that I have experience with these days, rather than roam the net freely, because I enjoy being a good customer of a good dealer. The internet has been a wonderful way to make contact with some of these dealers, but the novelty value is wearing thin.

I was interested in whether others were feeling the same way, and it is interesting for me that the responses here suggest not.