240racer
you bring up a topic which I always think about as well. While I feel I have my system right, I have little point of reference to know how my system stacks up to someone elses.
I am making a point to join a local Audiophile Society in 2007 as they often do tours of members homes which allow you to hear other peoples systems.
I recall many many years ago, I was able to meet someone in person when buying an audio accessory from him. He asked if I'd like to hear his system. He played Annie Lennox, the track "Why" and to this date, I use that experience as my "chasing the dragon reference". His system was the most 3-D, huge soundstage I have ever heard and this was within a smallish apartement.
It turned out this person was Jason Serinius, who I beleive contributes to Stereophile and other On-line reviews. A few years after that Demo, he was selling the speakers which he used during that Demo, which I now own. To date, I have not been able to replicate the Soundstaging and Imaging his system had, but is something which I am always chasing and getting close.