That is a problem (especially for large and heavy speakers for which return shipping can be expensive). In your shoes, I guess I would begin by doing a lot of web-based research (which it sounds like you may have already done, or started doing); then pick a city with a lot of brick-and-mortar audio dealers to visit or vacation in as you can (NYC, LA and Chicago come to mind here) and make the rounds of the stores. (Alternatively, attend one of the big annual audio shows... Rocky Mountain, Chicago, NYC, etc.) to audition many speakers and systems in one place. If neither of those is an option for you, Ihen check out some of the bigger (and well regarded) online retailers such as MusicDirect, Acoustic Sounds, Elusive Disc, and Upscale Audio. Another fav of mine is Galen Carol Audio in San Antonio, Tx. This is by no means an inclusive list... just the online merchants I've had goof interactions with... Best of luck,
Michael
Michael