Hi everyone! I just beta tested this terrific new thingy. It's a box shaped device. I brought it into my house, and all my lights shone like the sun, my stereo's been replaced by a magic teleportation device that whisks me off to any live music performance in history, my electric meter started running backwards, and my clothes washed themselves! Not only that, when I brought it back outside, roses started blooming, birds started singing sweeter, and Mary Poppins came down and handed me a satchel full of Bitcoins! These boxes are soon going to be available for only $299! Just don't ask me how it works, because that would be scientific mumbo jumbo, and only ignorant naysayers want that! Also don't ask about a refund, because there isn't one. That's right! No proof it works, and none of that refund foolishness if it doesn't. Because, after all, we all know how dishonest we all are....Now, how many can you I put you all down for??