geoffkait,
Based on your statements, it is hard to guess you are an audio insider. However, it is clear that you do have great imagination and talent for constructing stories with barely any connection to reality.
Pumpkins, flying elephants, and other natural phenomena are always in fashion. Disney may been hiring and I can write you a letter of support.
That is not to say that some of the physics implied by posters other than you may not be correct.
I do not drink coffee and do not smell it when I wake up.