Banana plugs, Spades or a little of each?

All other things being equal (the quality of the spades and bananas commpared), spades provide more contact area and are supposedly a better audio connector.

Yes, you can hear the difference in a poor quality spade and a higher quality one assuming your system is on par with the expense involved in the connectors, imo.

I have a hard time getting my spades to stay on the speakers. Whenever the maids come over I need to chech that they have not come off while cleaning.

I only use bananas because spades are always sliding off. Spades are a pain in the butt.

bananas..no wear and tear

The material is more important than whether it is a spade or banana. Bananas usually sound like s--t, as does gold plating, etc. The banana spring tension goes south and the sound goes with it. Go with Cardas Rhodium and you will notice that when you clean them there is no black grunge like there is with gold. The Rhodium also sound good today and a year from now. I like spades which fit good, or a banana which is very tight, not the ones with the spring which twirls...gives you another contact area to bridge. Use quicksilver cleaner or the like.