Will people buy Snake Oil?


I have just formulated a new product that you apply around your ears in the form of a green gel.It improves the sound of any speaker by at least double.The only visible problem is it looks fairly strange and not many women are attracted too the look or smell.I don't guess this matters to much since most systems are listened to by one person at a time and about anything proclaimed to enhance the sound is acceptable.It's less than the price of rattlesnake meat and you get enough to last through space and drums 3 times.Now to the question.Will anyone buy it?
hififarm
Dear Flex, you are quite wrong of course. Our research at UCK (reprinted in "Unscientific American" VOl.01 is.2234 in an article coauthored by Schrumpelmeyer, Tsu Ming, McCraggen, Lipshitz, Finkelstein and O'Brian ) I proved conclusively that the gel's basic ingredient of faeces bovini do indeed help to block off the effects on your hearing of ELECTROSMOG, which is present and can be measured in every listening area. So the basic ingredients of the gel DO work as reported above. Mixing any other ingredients with it, only seem to serve the manufacturer to sell it to gullible audiophiles. There is no difference in measurements, hence no difference in its effects. Since the gel works as a repellent, there should not be a notable difference with the lights on or off, apart of the effect, that music is generally recieved better by the brain with the lights off, exception being DVDs by Lopez et al. There are studies around, which suggest, that massaging it in to your hair, will counteract the effects of VIAGRA. The number of trials reported however, seeem to lie below the level of statistical significance.
Dr. TT
Well, I also suffer from an overdose of testosterone and I ain't got none, so I smuggled some out of the lab (Schrumpelmeyer, Tsu Ming, McCraggen, Lipshitz, Finkelstein and O'Brian didn't notice) and applied a good dose of faeces bovensi to my plate. To my utter surprise it went into a postive synergy with Sildenafil (VIAGRA), which lasted for three hours. I was so shocked by the discovery, that I was unable to put it to practical use, nor was I able to listen to music. Possibly it pays to shave your head. What is unclear however, if Electrosmog had a catalytic effect to start the described reaction. Also we don't know, if it only works with material gathered in the midwest of the US. I've persuaded Schrumpelmeyer, who has friends in Switzerland, to get us some from the Alps. Thankyou for your interest. Dr. T.Troll