I know what you are saying. However much of what you are hearing is due to less than ideal speaker positioning within the room, room acoustics and listening position.
The larger high end speakers demand a larger room and with that more problems.
My personal solution is to setup a nearfield listening position within my larger room using speakers that are designed to be nearfield monitors (Harbeth)
A nearfield setup allows you to place the speakers well away from side or back walls and the listening spot per the typical nearfied triangle is also well away from the wall behind the listener.
My nearfield setup in a larger room is modest compared to many high end systems but the sound that I hear can better or compete with the best regardless of price.
The only downside is that the room is somewhat sectioned off, basically you are sitting in the center of the room as opposed to along a wall.
But for me the sound is more than worth it. The coherence and imaging are spectacular.