Most DVD packaging we have (some 500 movies) have the aspect ratio on the back. It's usually small, in a text color with little to no contrast, and the possible of it varies from title to title - but it always seems to be there.
I know Amazon and others have the aspect ratios listed, but I don't believe ou can sort/search by aspect ratio. Also ou'll also likely want to know which titles are anamorphic. But most are in this day and age.
;) If 2.35: 1 is wide mother, where would ben-Hur (2.76:1) fit on your list? (just kidding!). LOL. I agree with you on the projector. I'm set up for 16:9, but my next set up is going to be a "constant height" set up for 2.35:1, with curtains masking 16:9 and 4:3 content.
Personally I'm a OAR junkie. I get whatever the intended ratio was supposed be. Sometimes that ends up being 1.33:1. :(