How do you get the "real" feel of music?

There is a certain "real" feeling that I get when I go to a live concert. It's more of "feeling" the music instead of "hearing" it. That feeling, I think, comes from percussion instruments. I'd like to get that feel in my home stereo but it's not there. In my home, snare drums don't pop, I don't feel the bass drum in my chest, and rim shots don't exist. Is there a way to get that presence in a small system?

I'm not rich, and I don't want to hear, "Scrap all your sorry equipment and get a Krell, Bryston and HSU..." so with that in mind, I've got a 12x16 room with:

Sony DVP-NS500 DVD
JVC HR-S5900 VCR
Harman Kardon AVR80 II as a pre-amp
Parasound HCA-1205 power amp

I have used
Definitive Technologies BP-6
Polk Audio R40, CS-175, and PSW-250
Bose Accoustimass 5
Bose R-41

Is there any hope?