Funniest sales pitch


What is the funniest sales pitch you've read? My current favorite is one I just read today. It was,"I'm selling these speakers because they are too good for me."
makersmark
Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes, "The doctor asked for a urine sample, a stool sample, and a blood sample - so I just handed him my underwear."
I am selling my multi-million dollar rig at a HUGE discount, due to a reversal of fortune, and impending legal fees.

Ken Lay
I'm selling my entire collection of 200 CD's because I can't figure out how to get that cellophane wrapper off any of them.