My speakers don't "dissapear"

Good to hear that things are looking up. I am not surprised that No. 3 worked best. With the kind of spread you had, you probably had a big hole in the middle of the stereo image. Most listeners seem to prefer a triangle, defined by the center of the speaker to center of speaker and to the listener's head, that is and equilateral triangle or narrower than an equilateral triangle. So, if you are seven feet from each speaker, the centers of the speakers should be 7ft apart or less. If the center image is still to diffused, more toe-in will help.

Excellent.

I'm finding when a system that should sound good doesn't, the placement within the room relative to walls is the first suspect and also the cheapest (though tricky) to fix.

I should have been more specific about this before tossing in other less likely possibilities into the frenzy as well, especially those that might still benefit but also add cost.

Yes, and also toeing in speakers so more sound reaches your ears directly would also clearly work against making the speakers "disappear".

With all the suggestions I received, my system is getting dialed in just right. I am starting to notice a few things here and there though, but really, I'm nit picking now.

When auditioning equipment at the dealer, all my listening was done on a chair that was a hair too high for the specific speaker stand / speaker combo. For the most part I was leaning forward to lower my ears. Yesterday, when listening at home, I leaned forward to grab a cd from the coffee table and there it was. The sound was almost exactly what I heard at the dealer. As I leaned back, the highs muted a bit and there was a very slight loss of coherency. It's like I auditioned the speakers in a "near field" set-up. I'll be experimenting with moving the speakers closer to my listening position, but as of now, I really like what I hear when I get closer to the speakers.

Another thing I noticed was driver integration. During a guitar solo, as the guitarist made a run up the neck, the soundstage rose slightly as the notes went higher. I'm assuming it was because the music being played was near the crossover point and revealed the transition from mid to tweet. The speakers are firing level with the tweets about 3 inches higher than ear level. My stands are adjustable and I'm thinking that adding some forward tilt will help things out.

I'm starting to really enjoy the system and all my CD's.

Good news. Enjoy!

Because of the shape of the baffle and the placement of the drivers (tweeter over the bass unit), speakers have an asymmetrical radiation pattern as far as height dispersion pattern. If the tweeter is too high, you could tilt the speaker forward, but, that may not have the same result as tilting the speaker backwards if the the tweeter were too low. In other words, it may work or it may cause other problems. You need to give that a shot, as well as lowering the speaker and either have it fire straight or even tilted up a little. A lot of stand mounted speakers are "voiced" to be on lower stands with the speaker tilted slightly up.