What is your recommendation on upgrading a Linn LP

Dear SG,
I can appreciate your confusion. It's good to hear your VPI is working properly ;^)
I'm certain many VPI owners would echo your sentiments.

To make matters worse in this example it used all the standard gadgets (clamp, periphery ring etc) intended to advance its performance so it looked like a million dollars but sounded like $1.

As a rule I would tend to blame the LPs themselves, but if this is the true explanation they must be the worst examples of new vinyl on the planet.
The thought did occur to me that the periphery ring might have been acting as a circumferential "lightning rod" for static but the noise was persistent from beginning to end of each side.
I dismissed that explanation but I admit I've never heard anything like it...

There are many good tables these days, and Linn is just one of the favors available.

That said, do enjoy my Linn unite a bit. Whether the OP want to update a Linn is determined by how committed the OP is and whether the OP wants to spend $

My Linn is not a top spec Linn any longer but it does music well-
Here's my set up- LP12 w/Cirkus, Lingo, Trampolin, Ekos II, Arliv B and Kore

If I were starting from scratch I would look at a VPI Prime and if I had more $ to spend, an SME

I suspect it wasn't grounded properly. I've noticed excessive static with my tnt that manifests as surface noise if not grounded properly.

Replace the Linn with a VPI Prime / 3D atm. Nothing can be done to a Linn that will make it sound nearly as good as a modern design. VPI Prime with the 3D arm is probably one of hte better bang for the buck table / arm combos today.

Well, since the OPs 3 preferred options are all Linn-based I'm going to stick with that question and keep it relevant. ;^)

The LP12 has the distinction of being the (only?) turntable that can be built from scratch using readily available non-Linn parts. Not only that but there could be massive number of permutations possible through alternate combinations!

Lets look at some options -
- Origin Live motor kit (highly regarded vs more expensive options)
- "Hercules II" (mentioned earlier).
- Cetech sub-chassis (again very popular & relatively inexpensive. Not sure if this is available now but Linn are countering the aftermarket sub-chassis suppliers with their Majik (£300) & Kore (£750). Both are way cheaper than a Keel.
- RubiKon = aftermarket competition for the Kore.
- There is also the TigerPaw Khan top plate upgrade. Bit pricey so I'm not sure I'd entertain that one. I'd consider a "BooPlinth" first.

Speaking of the "BooPlinth" (a continuously NC machined bamboo variant) which the former editor of HiFi+ Roy Gregory was ecstatic with. Roy, you may remember, spent a fair bit of time in that capacity doing VTA "roadshows" to illustrate the benefits of accurate VTA (during a time when very few arms had this capability) using a VPI with Tri-planar. In fact Roy said in a recent issue of HiFi+, "It's been 30 years since I last owned an LP12 but all of a sudden I'm taking the idea seriously again..." such was the impression the BooPlinth made on him.
His review is an interesting read and he is convinced it is a real game-changer.

The BooPlinth is not the sort of thing you'll see heavily advertised as the 2 guys who created it barely managed to scrape together enough money to get them manufactured(!) - so not much profit in it (and certainly not enough for "payola").
It's not cheap at £1650 so some serious decision making required there... (but I know one or two folk keen on buying it already)

Finally there is the question of implementation. Getting a franchised dealer to upgrade the T/T with aftermarket parts on your behalf might prove difficult but there are plenty of skilled amateurs/pros, I'm sure, in your neighbourhood who might offer to help if required?
All the best, whatever you decide.