Audio - Post Divorce

Czarivey, you succinctly characterized what I had become- a dog on a leash. I'm not a big booze buyer- I once came home with a $50 bottle of whiskey (which I do maybe twice or three times a year) and boy did I get a tongue lashing, even though 1- I was the sole bread winner, and 2- I make a nice income. But I caught hell for it. Yet when I pointed out that my x spent $125-$150 a month at a beauty salon, and insisted on a cleaning lady 2 times a week, well, I as just being insensitive and harsh. 

My my first marriage did not end because of stereo or hobbies. It didn't end because I spent money on girls, booze or drugs. It ended because I had become insensitive to the increasingly expensive lifestyle my x was accustomed to and was demanding. That and because I had the audacity to suggest that when I was out of work for 3 months following open heart surgery that my then wife should rejoin the workforce instead of me burning through savings to pay for every single household expense when I was recuperating and drawing no income. And in case anyone is interested, the x is a dentist, you know, one of those really low paying jobs. 

But I am not bitter. Better off without that dead weight. I like my new home, and while I did not run out and buy a BMW or a sports car, (ok, I did look at bmws) my system took a quantum leap. And now in the mix of all that, after already divorced, it seems I've actually found a lady more interested in me as a person than someone interested in my wallet. My x would be shocked that such an insensitive and harsh lout as myself could actually be in a good place, and in a good relationship. 

Music + Stereo= perfect relationship!

"And in case anyone is interested, the x is a dentist, you know, one of those really low paying jobs...."

zavato: I feel your pain,...my first was very intelligent, accomplished and hard-working and after marriage decided that by the age of 31 that 'she had worked enough...' and would focus on being a mother (something I respect) then after the child was in school and age 8-9, got back to the 'worked enough up to the age of 31...' rationale.  In the divorce, I got to hear phrases like 'the lifestyle I allowed her to become accustomed to,...'; suffice it to say it's very expensive :-) to hear such phrases. My son is in college now and the lazy sod is still not working.   Second is showing signs of 'having worked enough...need to travel and find herself...' in her mid-40s,..again, highly intelligent, motivated, driven and hard-working + independent + feminist + not dependent upon men when we met and married.  What a nightmare....

I second Jafant's suggestion and will modify it a bit;

- Music + Stereo + plus good friends and a loyal dog = perfection!

:-)

zephyr24069, what kind of highly intelligent person WANTS to work? Haha.

That being said, now you know why women look so much forward to getting married. Many see it as a form of retirement. Women look forward to marriage the way that men look forward to retirement.

My wife left the workforce for 15 years to focus on "being a mother".
She went back into the work force begrudgingly, blaming me for years!
You just can't do favors for people.

I have 3 sons, ages 25-31, none of which are in any hurry to get married. Who can blame them? Marriage is a custom which seems to have outlived it's usefulness, at least for men.

As one comedian used to say, next time I think of getting married, I'll just skip to the finish line. I'll go find a woman that I really hate, and buy her a house.