Help me narrow down some speaker choices


Had the opportunity to listen to a bunch of well-known brands with my XA30.5 and DirectStream dac/pre and at the end of the day, left even more confused of what direction I wanted to go. I tried:

Totem Sky - Great air and high extension, fun, slightly forward from neutral, but too boomy and midrange wasn't working for me.
Focal Sopra 1 - The BE tweeter was making my ears bleed.
Opera Seconda - Great impact, dug deep, beautiful construction but on the opposite end of the focal, way too warm and congested (relatively speaking). It was definitely a fun speaker that wouldn't offend anyone but left me looking for more clarity and air.
Reference 3A MM deCapo - Really enjoyed these overall in the 2 hours I listened at someone's home but the BE tweeter again was wearing on me in the long run. Acoustic guitar and Gregory Porter's voice sounded absolutely stunning though.
ATC SCM40 - Great extension on either end, very accurate, guitar and voices sounded very real, in the room type of feel, not hifi. Lacked impact and wish it was a little more forward, otherwise very enjoyable and one of my top choices. I think my amp might be part of the limiting factor here.
Verity Audio Finn - Didn't sound coherent at all, top end was very overpowering. Each component was working fine but seemed like I was hearing each individual one rather than a blend, was very unusual.
Harbeth SHL5+ - Wrapped me in music, nice and cozy. Laid back speaker, female vocals sounded great but male voices didn't have the grunt I was hoping for. They left me a little snoozy and wooley sounding (but not signficantly so).

Looking back, I'd like the high-end extension and instrumental texture of a deCapo BE but a notch-back of the sizzle, with a more forward sounding SCM40 that can generate some impact. 

I'm looking at all sorts of options at this point and wondering where to go. Looking at internet direct options as well from PranaFidelity Bhava, Tyler Acoustics Linbrook Sig Floorstander, Salk Sound Song3, Tekton (would have to be the Lore References, I can't stand the sight of the tweeter bug-eye array no matter how they sound. Wife wouldn't let them in the door either).
msommers
msommers,  bondmanp and others, you seem a little unsure of what you are doing.  such dramatic detailed accounts of speaker performance absent any standard for comparison is comical at best.  when you talk about "highs being shelved down a bit from the midrange" and "female vocals sounded great but male vocals lacked grunt" and other pieces sounding "snoozy and wooley" .... wow! when you write this garbage do you have a mirror along side the computer so you can throw yourself a wink every now and then?  Between winks you might want to ask yourself one question...did the artist or producer intend it to sound that way or are they off base too?  and a followup question...how do you know?    
Larry I'm really sorry to hear that someone took a piss in your Ensure this morning. All the best with your megabucks system. You can see yourself out now.
@msommers 😂 the people around me think I'm crazy. You just made me shoot beer out my nose..
msommers, Because half a dozen grasshoppers under a fern make the field ring with their importunate chink, whilst thousands of great cattle, reposed beneath the shadow of the British oak, chew the cud and are silent, pray, to not imagine that those who make the noise are the only inhabitants of the field; that, of course, they are many in number; or that, after all, they are other than the little, shriveled, meagre, hopping, though loud and troublesome insects of the hour.  You have much to learn grasshopper.