I've been friendly with dealers and have always been very self conscious about wasting a dealer's time. I'm always very upfront about exactly where I stand in terms of a purchase. I never go to a store and ask to audition equipment that I'm not serious about buying from that dealer.
And if I'm just visiting a store to check it out, I'll sit down and listen if a system is already playing, or if a dealer asks if I'd like to hear X or Z system I make it clear whether I'd actually be in the market for those.
As in "those are out of my price range" and if the dealer still doesn't mind putting it on, that's up to him.
The smart dealers will allow the customers to hear systems that the customer may not think he's looking to buy. That's how I was "upsold" before on systems. For instance, I went to a dealer to audition the Joseph Audio Pulsar speakers. I liked them but wasn't sure they were quite full range enough. The dealer asked if I'd iike to hear the larger floor standing Perspectives model but I said they were more than I was looking to spend. Nonetheless, he said no problem, take a listen anyway. Turned out I was so smitten with the sound, now I'm likely to buy a pair from that dealer. That's happened to me before as well.
In fact, right AFTER I started contemplating if I could possibly afford those Joseph speakers, a very rare pair of Perspectives appeared on audiogon. Where it would be financially painful to purchase them new, at less than half price used it would have been a cinch. It was pretty torturous to let those used Perspectives go, but I felt committed to buying from the dealer after using his time.
So I'm very against the idea of going to a dealer, using his store to audition an item with buying it second hand in mind.