I say do not let yourself get suckered by anyone telling you 'you can't hear'. You CAN hear the music, and if new stuff improves your ENJOYMENT, that that is what matters.
I can say others who are not audiophiles never get it. Like the first thing out of the mouth of ANY non-audiophile seeing the size of my speakers is: You must play really loud music!. With no comprehension. I would say it may be the same, in a way, for your wife, who equates ordinary day to day with 'listening to music'. (One of the saddest people I EVER met, was the guy selling off his stereo equipment, because he 'needed hearing aids, and his wife convinced him what good is a stereo if you cant hear". He should have just kept it. Ordinary folks have no idea how important music is to an audiophile!)
On the other hand, maybe staying where you are equipment wise might be just as good.
I am in my 70th year. I actually had no plans to buy all the stuff I did. When last January I had some cash in the bank. And thought maybe upgrade my 3.6 Magnepan to 3.7i
Well I decided that was too much of a sideways deal, and decided 'Now or Never' to buy 20.7s
Then one thing led to another.. and I really got carried away. I would say the 17 Furutech Duplex was my jumping over the edge of the cliff. But Jeez those made a huge difference.
This morning I was sticking the Treble resistor and choke behind the plate on the left 20.7. Not terrible, but I really am getting old to do this stuff. Waiting until maybe tomorrow to do the other one.
One thing I think about is getting the stereo where I can handle any little issues. No more buying to replace... Just tune a bit.
Anyway, I say do not let wreck your enjoyment of music! You have managed to keep it so far...