overwhelmed by record rituals

Regarding stylus cleaning, while I may be prejudiced as the author, the following remains definitive even after eleven years:

http://forum.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/fr.pl?eanlg&1079733653&openusid&zzDougdeacon&4&5

Google "stylus cleaning magic eraser" and you'll find posts from thousands of satisfied users on dozens of forums.

Some form of liquid record cleaning (and rapid, vacuum removal of the grunge-laden fluid) is very advisable. Dragging microscopic junk through a plastic groove with a sharp-edged diamond is not a good plan for the long-term health of the plastic.

Having tried virtually every commercial product out there, I'm partial to the fluids made/sold by AIVS.

Steam, is the answer. Its a $30 no brain er.

Margot, I believe in a 'pure' water rinse- how pure can drive you to distraction, but in my estimation, it is good practice- to remove any residue from the fluid and pick up any remaining contaminants.So, yes, separate applicators, vacuum wands/towers (for the rinse step vacuum). There are all kinds of tricks you pick up along the way- for example if a record is pretty nasty, you want to pre-clean before you clean- especially to avoid grinding detritus into the grooves by vigorous agitation/scrubbing. (There are scrubbers and flooders, all different pews in the same 'church').
I wrote an extensive piece on all this, including an interview with the Library of Congress folks on cleaning practices. Happy to send or post, so long as you (and others) appreciate that it is based on my personal experience, and not meant as the last word on the subject-

Hello, Whart. I'd love to read your piece on this! Could you also clarify what a separate vacuum wand might mean? Do I need another attachment to vacuum up after the rinse stage? Would VPI or Nitty Gritty etc sell that as an accessory? Or am I misreading your message?

with many thanks! Margot

Margot: Re the 'clarification': if you look at a VPI 16.5 you'll see that the vacuum wand (the part that touches the record, spans that record from rim to spindle and has velvet-like lips and a slot to pull the liquid off the record) inserts into a spring loaded vertical pillar. The pillar is easily removed. Rather than trying to switch wands from a 'fluid' wand to a rinse wand for each step (inserting and aligning the wand into the pillar takes a little care), it is easier to buy a second wand and pillar from VPI and you just interchange wand/pillars for each step. (I mark the top of the 'rinse pillar/wand' with a colored dot so I keep track of which is which). I also use glass trays to hold them, nothing fancy. And I constantly clean the vacuum lips (a soft toothbrush will do fine) as well as rinse and scrape the applicators (folks have different preferences- on the VPI, i like the Disc Doctor applicator, which is more like a fuzzy replaceable pad with a T shaped handle- it absorbs more liquid than a 'brush' so you have to pre-wet it, but it does a better job if you are a 'scrubber.' Mobile Fidelity makes a version of this that is larger).
Doug's recommendation of AIVS fluid is a good one- i've tried a lot of different fluids, but like their No. 15 for problem records- you agitate and let the enzyme soak before vacuuming; you must do a rinse step with this fluid. (Some fluids are 'one step' or don't necessarily mandate a pure water rinse, but I invariably do a rinse step, even with less aggressive fluids). Here's a link to the piece. In it there is a link to my interview with the Library of Congress restoration specialist. (I visited their restoration facility in December, 2014 to do a feature on the facility, the archives and some of the collection). http://thevinylpress.com/cleaning-vinyl-records-my-personal-odyssey/