Doug Henning disappearing act

Marco, I've heard wonderful things about the storied Nigerian Penis Patches. Prolific problems, though, finding qualified penis pickers to harvest the ripe tubers.

Cups-N-Balls are bountiful in We-Ho, though they can disappear without warning. You can pick up a trio for lots less than $4000. To help, I'd be willing to trade a nice package of Cups-N-Balls for a bushel of Penis Patch pickings.

Let me know.

Your Pal in Nigeriana,

You are well-informed on the Nigerian Penis Patches, Grant. Recent penis picking problems have been largely exaggerated though, and harvesting season is upon us, as no doubt you are aware. It's a bumper crop, with the firm, ripe Nigerian fruit of the loins surpassing heretofore unparralelled size expectations. Though your offer for the disappearing cup-n-balls may appear appealing on the surface, well, one in hand is, in this case, not worth two, or even three in the bush, as it appears you are offering. I'll stick with the money order payment and you can hang onto your balls in your cup for someone else to snatch up. I'm certain you are not without other offers at this point.

Marco

Marco, as my Cups-N-Balls have gone missing (perhaps they're with my Doug Henning'd buyers), I'll forward payment to my associate, N'Dnosheba, in Lesotho. N'Dnosheba installs button flies in a Lesothoan Calvin Klein dance belt factory and can be trusted to pass along the $4000 unencumbered. Looking forward to receiving the prodigious pickings.

Your Pal in Nigeriana and Lesothoana,

Have you gone swimming in cold waters recently Grant? If so, it could explain the disappearance of your cupped balls. I'm hoping, for your sake, that Doug Henning has nothing to do with their disappearance, nor would I consult his expertise in getting them to re-appear. I think there is an mpeg somewhere online of him doing just that, but I've never actually seen it myself (please don't forward it should you have it in your archive).

Thank you for your payment. Please remind your pal in Freedonia not to send the $4k in buttons, as he did last time.

Rufus T. Firefly

Do you insensitive bastards realize how hard these little Nigerian kids have to labor to make just one Penis Patch? I watch them doing it all day long and it ain't as easy as cupping your hand over your ass and smelling your own bad fart!

THey work very diligently to make each one exactly the same. Custom orders aren't even considered. I asked them to make a pair for my own hairy beanbags and they damn near de-balled me!