I wanna hear some "audio" jokes...and

...how do you make a rock guitar player to stop playing?
--Give him a sheet music!
...what is the difference between viola and violin?
--Burns longer.

for more audio jokes please follow the cable posts, posts about tweaks and how other different junk changes the sound here on audiogon.

Tim, i can relate to your comments about guitar players and volume. Having done professional sound reinforcement, the only guys that i had to battle with about on-stage volume levels were the lead guitar players. If you told them that they were too loud or over-powering the rest of the band, you could almost see an evil grin sneak onto their face. They would then turn around and "fake" turning down the gain on their amp. I guess that they thought i was deaf, dumb and blind. They might have been right about the dumb part, but i can still see and hear : )

I learned how to deal with this type of situation REAL fast. I would simply tell them that if they kept their amp cranked up on stage, i would simply turn them down through the PA. I'd casually add that the guitar might sound good to the people standing in front of the "stack", but i would make sure that nobody else could here their guitar anywhere else in the club.

THAT got their attention REAL fast : ) Sean
>

Once upon a time...
...gently holding the edges of an LP in the open palms of both hands I put it under running hot water to wash some crud off it. As I swirled it around thoroughly all of a sudden it folded almost completely in half! Following a sudden glimpse of mortality I flipped it back into its original shape. It remains prefectly flat to this day,
30 years later.

...I had this thing against knobs so I ran out and got a brand new SAE P102 preamp that had flat microprocessor
controlled front panel switches. I got it home, hooked it up, and then somehow or other I touched it with a stainless steel dinner fork, completely wiping out the programming. The home appliance store exchanged it for a new one with no questions asked. Almost 20 years later my ex-wife continues to enjoy it.

...after I got my first real job and the paycheck to go with it, I had a habit of celebrating my good fortune by getting way drunk on the weekends. One night, following my safe arrival back at the apartment, I slapped an LP onto my rig which was deftly positioned out of harms way in a corner of the living room. Before the first cut was over I passed out on the sofa. The next morning I awoke to find a good-sized puddle of hmmm... water? under my power amp. Didn't seem to do it any harm at the time and most of the rust on the chassis did come off with car wax years later... just before I sold to the lucky new owner.

Sean, you were too nice. I just walked on stage & turned it down for them. If they turned it back up I would indeed turn them off at the board.

rok-jok:

a heavy metal guitar player comes home to his girlfrend after performance heavily intoxicated with drugs and alcohol and feeling real bad.
his girlfriend is trying to help him to become better offers:
--honey maybe you wish to listen to Iron Maiden?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--or maybe i'll play you some Slayer?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--or i can even play you some Sepulture if you wish?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--a..ah! i'll play you some Ricky Martin may be you'll through up!?