I wanna hear some "audio" jokes...and


real life experiences or blunders. Don't be shy, I promise I'll laugh!
dogpile
Once upon a time...
...gently holding the edges of an LP in the open palms of both hands I put it under running hot water to wash some crud off it. As I swirled it around thoroughly all of a sudden it folded almost completely in half! Following a sudden glimpse of mortality I flipped it back into its original shape. It remains prefectly flat to this day,
30 years later.

...I had this thing against knobs so I ran out and got a brand new SAE P102 preamp that had flat microprocessor
controlled front panel switches. I got it home, hooked it up, and then somehow or other I touched it with a stainless steel dinner fork, completely wiping out the programming. The home appliance store exchanged it for a new one with no questions asked. Almost 20 years later my ex-wife continues to enjoy it.

...after I got my first real job and the paycheck to go with it, I had a habit of celebrating my good fortune by getting way drunk on the weekends. One night, following my safe arrival back at the apartment, I slapped an LP onto my rig which was deftly positioned out of harms way in a corner of the living room. Before the first cut was over I passed out on the sofa. The next morning I awoke to find a good-sized puddle of hmmm... water? under my power amp. Didn't seem to do it any harm at the time and most of the rust on the chassis did come off with car wax years later... just before I sold to the lucky new owner.
Sean, you were too nice. I just walked on stage & turned it down for them. If they turned it back up I would indeed turn them off at the board.
rok-jok:

a heavy metal guitar player comes home to his girlfrend after performance heavily intoxicated with drugs and alcohol and feeling real bad.
his girlfriend is trying to help him to become better offers:
--honey maybe you wish to listen to Iron Maiden?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--or maybe i'll play you some Slayer?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--or i can even play you some Sepulture if you wish?
--ohh, ohh, i still feel bad!
--a..ah! i'll play you some Ricky Martin may be you'll through up!?
What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

Bah-boomp-boomp.....tizzzzzzzz
Driver: Most of the bands that i've worked with have been at their request. As such, they've come to trust my judgment and don't give me a hassle as they know i'm only there to do my job and make them sound the best that i can. However, there have been a few guys that took quite a while to get this idea through their thick skulls.

I chose the method that i did as i do not want a confrontation. Nor do i want to spoil what is supposed to be an enjoyable event for all involved. Giving / getting attitude never makes for smiling faces and "forcing the situation" would do just that. Dropping "subtle" hints can typically get the job done. I see your point though : )

Rockvirgo: That must have been a VERY thin record and some VERY hot water. YOW !!!

As to your comments about the "water", i hope that it was not what i think it was. Can you imagine the "jolt" that you would have gotten if the electricity would have followed the path of the "stream" backwards ??? YOW again.... Sean
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