I wanna hear some "audio" jokes...and

.........It's stupidity confession time.

Last fall I bought a new .45 Auto (pistol, not record), and to help breakin the trigger, I thought I'd dry fire it while I was listening to music. Well, I racked the slide, pointed the gun toward the floor and pulled the trigger. BOOM. The ROOM HAD JUST EXPLODED. The 230 grain FMJ slug just missed my Levinson 360S DAC, went through a small wooden CD holder that had 14 of my favorite CDs in it-- totally trashed all my Enya, Enigma, some Loreena McKennitt, and Walela CDs (about $210. worth) and came to rest in front of my left Vandersteen 5 speaker. My ears rang for hours afterward. I was home alone-- my wife would have freaked!!!

In 40-45 years of gun use, that's my second AD (accidental discharge), and indoors, it's ingrained habit with me to point guns down when pulling the trigger. My local dealer was amazed when I told him why I needed the CDs I requested, as he knew I had them, but was finally happy to sell me new ones.

I can say with confidence that a .45 FMJ slug will penetrate 14-- possibly 15, CDs in jewel cases-- consider this a "review". I'm just damned glad I wasn't using a .44 Mag. Whew! Well, that's off my chest in audioland. Cheers??? Craig

1)Q: How do you get a musician off of your doorstep?
A: Pay for the pizza.

2) Did you hear that Joe finally died after a long ilness?
Really, what did he have?
Martin Logan, Krell, Audio Research.

WOW !!! No offense to Craig, but i think that he wins the "horror story" part of this thread hands down.

Honestly though, since you confessed that much to us, you can go all the way and finish the story i.e. did you have to change your underwear after that one ? : )

As a side note to Craig, maybe you should put those CD's and the wooden CD case for sale on ebay. You could say something like "sold as is, no guarantee as i think that these CD's are "shot" : ) Sean
>

A bass player was, as always, broke. Wishing for a cheap vacation, he saw an enticing ad in the travel section of the Sunday New York Times:

"Mississippi Riverboat Cruises! Four relaxing days, three nights on the Big Muddy. Special fare for bass players - $1.99! Bring your bass to claim reduced rate."

Excited, he grabbed his acoustic bass and headed to the dock. At the ticket window, he proudly displayed his bass:

"I'm here to inquire about the $1.99 cruise for bass players," he announced.

"Is that there your bass, sir?

"You bet. The very best."

"No problem, then, arranging your cruise. That'll be $1.99 . . . "

As the bass player plopped two bucks on the counter, a blunt object smacked the back of his head. The stunned musical vacationer fell to the ground. Waking hours later, he found himself tied to the bass and floating lazily down the Mississippi. His head ached. Unable to free himself, he floated calmly on. After awhile, he saw beauty in the passing riverscape: idling sloops, tall trees, fishermen on the shoreline, herons startled from the shallows . . .

Our bass player-on-vacation snoozed a bit as he scooted silently with the big river's surge. When he awoke, he spotted another man, floating nearby, tied to a bass. Since he was weak and somewhat thirsty, he called over:

"Hey, man. Do they serve food or drinks on this cruise?"

The other replied, cheerfully, "They didn't last year."

I don't usually pass on sad news like this, but sometimes we need to pause
and remember what life is all about. There was a great loss recently.

Larry LaPrise, the Detroit native who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey", died at the age of 83.

It was extremely difficult for the family to keep him in the casket. They'd put his left leg in and....well, you know the rest.