Frogman, you're a musician, I've been to a number of jazz sets with musicians, that's because they always made the major sets. This was at a time when we sat at tables, as opposed to seats in an arena, and I always seemed to be seated at a table with a musician. Yall hear differently; when I got lost, the musician would tell me what was going on, but it was like water off a ducks back; nothing's changed; "Behind the beat, in front of the beat" doesn't seem to make any difference to me. Someone said Art Blakey was always behind the beat; behind the beat, in front of the beat; whatever, I like Art Blakey. Although it's good to know such things if you're a musician.
Enjoy the music.