Best Audio Related Story (or joke).


With all the stress and pressure going around at Audiogon these days, (posting issues, complaints and legal issues), seems like this would be a good opportunity to inject some light hearted audio related comments, stories or just plain old jokes. Please share yours!
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Sean, there was one time, I was there,one of my friend
told Him, that the palpability sounds like disorted,
and appear invincible,He went to John the next day,
And John cant understand what he was saying, John
end up calling me.He also said its the third time
he consulted Him.Sean sometimes, He will end up
tweaking his system up to 2 am.I am sure Sean if you
are THE repair man.YOU WOULD LIKE TO HUNT US AND BLOW
US WITH YOUR SHOTGUN.bUT WE ARE NOT LIKE SADDAM WHO HIDE
ONLY ON SPIDER HOLE, WITH ONLY ONE PISTOL.
After the expo in NYC we decide to go to this supposedly excellent (zagat rated) chinese joint. We sit down and since there is seven or eight of us the waitress uses two hands to bring us our hot tea. We were so revved up over some speakers at the show that none of us noticed the waitress carried those cups of tea with her fingers inside the cups. I said "HEY YOU GOT YOUR FINGERS IN OUR TEA", she said "I know ,,,,,, I'm used to it!~)
Two audiophiles get drunk, as they walk out of the bar they see a dog licking himself. One says to the other "I wish I could do that" , the other says "go ahead I'm sure he doesn't bite."
A man feared his wife (insert wife's name here...say..."Mary") wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here's what you do,” said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.” Then in a normal tone he asks, “Mary, what's for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Mary, what's for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Mary, what's for dinner?”

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Mary, what's for dinner?” Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Mary, what's for dinner?”

“(Your name here), for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!”
My fave story involves that company everybody here loves - Bose. ;)

You may recall the Bose vs Consumer Reports legal case where Bose sued CR because they stated in a review that the sound of a certain model of Bose speaker "wandered around the room". Bose (somehow) won the case.

Well, my friend Bill worked at a local audio dealer that sold Bose, Klipsch, Yamaha, B&O, etc. We were talking about speakers one day and Bose came up - he mentioned that the "sound of the instruments wanders around the listening room" when listening to Bose speakers. I know for a fact he did not know about the above mentioned lawsuit, but had heard it for himself.