Best Audio Related Story (or joke).

After the expo in NYC we decide to go to this supposedly excellent (zagat rated) chinese joint. We sit down and since there is seven or eight of us the waitress uses two hands to bring us our hot tea. We were so revved up over some speakers at the show that none of us noticed the waitress carried those cups of tea with her fingers inside the cups. I said "HEY YOU GOT YOUR FINGERS IN OUR TEA", she said "I know ,,,,,, I'm used to it!~)

Two audiophiles get drunk, as they walk out of the bar they see a dog licking himself. One says to the other "I wish I could do that" , the other says "go ahead I'm sure he doesn't bite."

This audiophile is in pursuit of a better stereo system. He thought he would do well if he got a vesectomy. This way... well you know he could buy class a+ stereo components.
So he goes to his buddy who is his doctor as well to get the procedure done.
The doctor realizes every penny counts so he gives him the home method vesectomy instructions rather than pay the hospital.
He tells him "Go and buy a pack of fire crackers and go home. Hold the fire cracker in your left hand light it and count to ten."
The audiophile guy goes to china town and buys a pack of fire crackers. When he gets home he finds a lighter, takes the pack apart, holds one in his left hand lights it. He starts to count with his right hand up in the air using his fingers to keep count, he reaches 5, stops, looks at his right hand then his left hand then right then left
realizing he has to reach ten he puts the fire cracker between his legs and contnues counting..........

Little boy asks his father what is economics and politics?
"Well" said the dad "I am the capatalist because I bring home the money, your mother is the government because she distributes the money, the maid is the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future."
Boy goes to sleep.
The same night the baby brother is crying because his diapers are soiled.
So he goes to the parent's bedroom and mom is dead asleep, goes to the maid's bedroom and dad is on top of her, he goes back to bed.
Next day the father asks the son to explain what he had been told the night before about family and economics.
"Sure dad" he replies, " while the capatalist is screwing the working class, the government is dead asleep, the public is neglected and the future is still full of s#!t.

A priest rabbi and minister walk into an audio salon, the salesman says " what is this a joke?"

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit???

BA-NA-NA-NA.

Who is the most popular guy at the nude beach??
The one that can carry two cups of coffee and twelve donuts!
Who is the most popular girl?

A lady goes shopping at the local super market. She finds the young cashier attractive. So she asks him if he could he carry the grocery bags out to the car. He agrees. As they exit she wispers into his ear that she has an itsybushi, he replies lady "itsybushi mitsubishi these cars all look the same".

Three audiophiles are travelling across the desert to reach a Home Theater Expo (obviously not this year). They are pressed for time and hire the quickest camels available. And they take off. Two of the camels are making excellent time but the third is making loops in the sand! So he returns to the camel rental depot and complains. Upon hearing the story the camel mechanic has the camel walk over to the pit. He gets down into the pit with two rocks in his hands finds the camel's gonads and slams them with the rocks. The camel takes off like a rocket ship. The audiophile remarks " Wow thats incredible, but now how do I catch up to him?" The mechanic says " Stand over the pit!"

Comfort is found when birds of the same feather flock together.
It's good to be an audiophile.
Audiophiles will probably find this book "Virtual Medicine" a valuable source of information.

Jorgeparrapuppy,
The one who eats the last donut.
Sorry that it's dirty.

An audiophile gets lonely since the wife left him for a conductor, he gets himself a pet centerpede. Every day they chat and listen to music, one day he tells the centerpede let's go out for some drinks, centerpede agrees, so he's waiting and waiting, finally he asks the centerpede "when are we leaving??", centerpede says "can't you see I am putting my shoes on!!