Does It have to be loud?

Just put on "The Dave Brubeck Quartet in Europe," and Brubeck's big piano chords are peaking at 80-83 dB, and the applause at the end of each track is irritatingly loud at 85 db. It seems I need the volume up a bit to hear the bass, although that might be a deficiency of my system or (rather small 12.5' x 15') listening room.

A lot of not mentioned things are the type of music one likes (though a few if the recent posts DO mention what type of music being discussed in the dB comment) It is easy to have realistic volume listening to a solo artist playing an acoustic guitar. Same for piano, or even Classical chamber music at relatively low SPL
But them you have Death Metal. That expected dB is 100? Also the amount of bass. Particularly low bass, gut massage bass.. adds a LOT to the dB meter. So folks WITH a sub, or strong bass output speakers will have a higher dB than folks playing the SAME MUSIC without a sub or prodigious bass output

In large Classical, and in Opera, only the climaxes are really loud..
(thus my personal 80dB for opera climaxes)
So some of the disparity of folks playing levels is ’what they play’.
I seldom play Heavy Metal! And little Hard Rock.
The vast majority of what I play is small combo Jazz, Small scale Classical.

One other point is nothing is lost playing at lower levels with good equipment. (though when I hit the bottom, like extremely hushed passages in an orchestral piece and the music is too soft to actually hear well, yet the loudest are louder than I want to play at,, Talk about dynamic range.. But that is rare.. My latest cable upgrade made this more of a problem, though like I said, only rarely and particularly on large scale Classical.)

I listen at 50 to 60dB measured at listening chair.
70dB is pretty loud and I only rarely play music that loud, and 80dB peaks is as loud as I ever play music at home.(mainly opera climaxes.)

Are you using a real meter or one of those gimmicky phone apps? Is it set to fast C-weighting or A-weighting? Is your meter placed near your head? 

Pardon...  I didn't hear you. The hearing is not so good anymore...

70dB isn’t  realistic. Kind of the level you would listen to the radio. If it doesn’t sound good any louder then there is something badly wrong with the setup.

Single musicians Average dB Peak dB
Violin/viola (near left ear) 85 - 105 116
Violin/viola 80 - 90 * 104
Cello 80 - 104 *. 112
Acoustic bass 70 - 94 * 98
Clarinet 68 - 82 * 112
Oboe 74 - 102 * 116
Saxophone 75 - 110 * 113
Flute 92 - 105 * 109
Flute (near right ear) 98 - 114 118
Piccolo 96 - 112 * 120
Piccolo (near right ear). 102 - 118* 126
French horn 92 - 104 * 107
Trombone 90 - 106 * 109
Trumpet. 88 - 108 * 113
Harp 90 111
Timpani and bass drum 74 - 94 * 106
Percussion (high-hat near left ear) 68 - 94 125
Percussion 90 - 105 123-134
Singer 70 - 85 * 94
Soprano 105 - 110 118
Choir 86 No data
Normal piano practice 60 - 90 * 105
Loud piano 70 - 105 * 110
Keyboards (electric) 60 - 110 * 118
Several musicians
Chamber music (classical) 70 - 92 * 99
Symphonic music 86 - 102 * 120 - 137
* at 3 m
Note: These representative noise levels are collated from a range of sources. They give an indication of the variety of noise levels and noise peaks that musicians and other workers can receive from the instruments concerned. This information can be helpful with estimating noise exposure and in identifying potential noise ’hot spots’. However, as shown, many of the instruments can exhibit a range of noise levels depending on how loudly they are played, for how long and under what circumstances (eg repertoire, venue, number of instruments concerned). Do not only use this information for a risk assessment but look at Sound Advice Note 3 ’Noise risk assessment and planning’and the relevant sector guide(s).