10 Commandments of a Vinyl Audiophile

more:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors mint MFSL Beatles box, nor any other super cool LPs not yours.
Thou shalt honor thy neighbors LP collection, no matter how pitiful it seemeth to thou.
Whence thou selleth cartridges, thou shall REALLY tell how many hours on thy needle.
Give thy table setup person his due, for they have benefitted thee greatly.
honor old, broken and forgotten turntables, for they have gone before thee.
forgive thy forbearers who bought those Firestone Christmas albums/John denver albums/Herb alpert & the Tejuana Brass albums/Henry Mancini albums/Barbra Streisand albums.. and all those other forgotten drekketh cluttering thy secondhand store shelves, for they secretely helpeth thee in thy search for thine 'el cheapo' treasures by confusing and delaying thy competition.
Remember to be grateful to thy spouse, for thy spouse putteth up with thy fancy, and maketh room for thy stuff, unseemingly as it may be in thy spouses eye.

forget about "being an audiophile", enjoy music, tolerate equipment.

03-14-10: Srwooten
Thine shant correct elstes' biblidge

Too funny...I was LMAO when I saw that...nice job Srwooten

Great recommendations from Elizabeth!!

Duplicating some recommendation already presented and
perhaps adding some others:

> Keep your records clean. Don't touch the grooves with
your fingers, handle only by the edges without gripping
between thumb and finger. Don't leave them lying about
outside of their protective sleeves/jackets.

> If the record has not been cleaned, do so before playing
it the first time. ("How to clean" is covered in
lots of discussions in the archives.)

> Store your records in an inner sleeve, not just bare in
the jacket, and keep them in their jackets when not being
played. ("Recommendations for sleeves" are covered
in lots of discussions in the archives.) The goal is to keep
dust away from settling into the grooves or the surface of
the record otherwise getting damaged. Vinyl is soft and the
grooves are delicate - protect them.

> Store your records upright (vertical), away from heat
(including direct sunlight, radiators, and hot equipment),
and without a lot of pressure against them. They can warp
and get bent. Also, do not store them in an area of high
humidity or with no circulation: mildew loves vinyl and
mildew will destroy your records.

> Properly align and adjust your cartridge and tonearm, and
check that the stylus is in good shape. A poorly aligned
cartridge, or a worn stylus, can damage the record beyond
recovery on just a single play. Then, fine tune your record
player to get the best sound -- with vinyl, the magic is
truly in the details.

> Don't get obsessive about silence. LPs are not CDs (thank
goodness!). Expect to have some amount of surface noise.
Expect to have some amount of pops and clicks. Learn to
LISTEN THROUGH THE SURFACE NOISE to the music. Think of it
like a live performance where you can hear the audience
shuffling in their seats, coughs here and there, the sound
of the HVAC system... Work towards experiencing your vinyl
the same way and you'll find the wonders of the music.

> Here is a pretty good post about taking care of your vinyl
that I encourage you to read:
http://www.mindspring.com/~jmaier/vinyl.htm

> Enjoy your journey.
.

1)Thou shalt not have any systems above thine own (thunder quakes)
2)Thou shalt not play music thoust doest not enjoy (lighting cracks)
3)Thou shall keepeth thine system clean and free from dust (earth quakes)
4)Thou will removeth any dirt from thine stylus each time thouest play a record (people shudder and sparatic shivering amongst the crowd)
5)Thou shall handle your vinyl with reverences similar to precious jewels or the last snickers bar(in the distance, a dog whimpers)
6)Thou shalt not bear false witness to other audiophiles about how much better different pressings are (more thunder)
7)Thou shall seek and destroy all static and removeth it from thy vinyl (even more thunder with some lighting thrown in for effect)
8)Thou, meaning you, shall set aside a time each day to listen to the LP of your choice (that dog whimpers and cowers a little further in the distance...he tucks his tail, I won't say where but you get the idea)
9)Thou shalt not covet thy best audiophile freinds turntable (Ok this is like thunder, lightning and a large gasp all at once...very frightning..as a matter of fact just typing it causes me to tremble)
10)Thou, yes you again, must clean all vinyl with a suitable wet cleaning system before playing each new LP. Also you must use a good sleeve and lp cover. (a large crack of thunder with lighting, earthquakes and the dog just runs away with so much fear he may never come back...
ok he will come back at dinner time; you know dogs. But the thunder is really loud!Wear hearing protection so as to not cause any hearing damage)

Now carveth these laws I have given you in a large vinyl tablet and hangeth it over your turntable, so as not to forgeteth the rules that have been laideth downeth for thou (yes you once more)on this most audiophilia-educational typeth day!