There is also an inherent shortcoming in writing postings in a terse, informative way that doesn’t sound condescending. I think sometimes people don’t intend to sound snarky or harsh, but it comes off that way. (True of email sometimes too-).
I agree that one can have a constructive argument without name calling or rancor. Sometimes, though, we are arguing about things that leave little room for consensus. I still like this forum a lot- there are some very well-informed participants, and people are generally willing to help on trouble shooting or system problems.
My view is that you really can’t change other people’s behavior. If someone is constantly obnoxious, eventually others reach the same conclusion. And their views, no matter how strongly held, are given less credence because of the manner of delivery.
My motto in life: do good; be kind. it’s infectious! :) Having survived NYC for 36 years as a lawyer, I don’t know how I got so mellow. I think it is because I was in the mosh pit for so long, I got tired of it. I’m now in laid back Austin, and my type A persona hasn’t completely gone away, but I’m more aware of it than ever in a place where people are pretty gracious.