Speakers for a smaller room/moving issues...


Been looking for apartments/condos/houses to rent in New York as I am moving back there shortly. In other words-- I am moving out of my rental house with its adequately sized listening room/den into a potentially more cramped crib- possibly with neighbors behind an adjoining wall or two.
I've been privy in this search to all kinds of rooms-- small, big, oddly shaped etc. And of course, I am considering all kinds of speakers-- planars (so as not to piss off the upstairs and downstairs neighbors as much as box speakers), smaller monitors in case my room is like 13 by 14 or something and so forth.
Alright already- I'll come out with it! I guess what I really want to ask forum members doesnt exactly pertain to a particular speaker rec at all--
Rather, when you guys move, or for that matter, when you chose your current home or apartment, was your 'listening room' a primary consideration?
I mean, my realtor barely understands my needs in this regard and seems a bit miffed at this point regarding my 'listening room neurosis.'
But what can I do? Move into a small condo and buy a Hello Kitty boombox? What did YOU do? (And DONT say "gave up the hobby"-- otherwise you wouldnt be reading this in the first place! Clever, eh?!)

PS- Jaybo, I love your 2 or 3 word answers; please feel free to participate multiple times!

abramsmatch
I appreciate your replies so far. Good speaker recs plus--I feel somewhat less neurotic thanks to James. Normalization of my feelings-- a classic Dr. Phil move.
James, the Wilson audio speakers are out of my price range (heard great things though!) but it is not solely the bass I am worried about-- it's ALL of the frequencies!
I saw this beautiful condo the other day for example, with neighbors on either side of the living room (it's a middle unit). Good sized living room (bigger than my present room) and people who live there say they never hear their neighbors at all (it's a pricey place!).
Buuuut... once I start playing Aida one fine sunday morning-- all bets are off!?? And that goes for mini-monitors or maxi-monitors.
So even if the room is a good size and I use mini-monitors- I guess it's a crap shoot as to whether you are moving into a relatively noise-isolated environment. That worries me more than room size or speaker size right now. Is there any good way to know other than rapping on walls or being in the construction biz?
I can always change my speaker selection-- cant modify a rental condo/house's construction, though.
I think what you are concerned with will be a common theme in a densely populated area. In the city, I have people above, below, and on both sides of me so I have 4 sets of neighbors. I have a Radio Shack SPL meter I keep handy when I want to keep myself in check. But I have to say that I do listen to music at lower levels, on my SPL meter if I break 80db from where I am sitting, that is getting loud for my tastes. I have had no complaints from anyone the 7 years I've been here.

I live in a pre-war building, so you have to realize that my high rise building is made of concrete blocks and plaster, so it's very dense. You will find modern construction is pretty lousy as they always are cutting costs to maximize profits.

The issues I have is keeping the sound out from the street 6 floors below. I am fortunate that I live on a quiet street and not an busy avenue. But my building is plagued with a subway that runs under the building, which I can hear subtly. It is a very low frequency but it doesn't affect my sound too much in terms of component feedback. I keep my components very well isolated with vibration control devices.

Just some different points of view from my experiences.
The key to getting good sound within a small room is 1) recognizing the issues with the room, 2) addressing those issues with the room, and 3) designing a system that is synergistic with the realities of that room. My system / setup is a prime example (IMHO). You are asking about speakers, and that is only one part of the equation.
Nrenter-- I am not really asking about speakers I guess. I have been at this hobby for over 20 years and have pretty much owned everything from quads to totems to proacs to reynauds to maggies to dynaudios to B&Ws to Living voices to Alons to Soundlabs to Martin Logan's to...man-- it's depressing me to continue-- I really gotta settle down.
In any case, speaker recs are welcome (havent heard your Callistos for example)-- but my question I guess is really more about what other audiogoners have done in terms of moving and compromising in terms of a listening room size and the 'neighbor noise factor.'
Come to think of it-- maybe out of courtesy, I should have posted in another forum?!
I second the any LS35A reccomendation-and add that a vintage pair easily obtainable is also very neat. OFf the top of my head, not knowing your budget here are some. Note I have not heard all of them

Omega super 3 narrows (my current NYC fave)
Silverline minuet
Role
Sonus faber
Harbeth/Spendor/Proac
Totem
Audio Note-they are corner placement

Good luck, it aint easy obtaining "reference quality" sound in nyc-unless youve got enough to buy a huge apt.