Best Audio Related Story (or joke).

LOL..............................LOL................hehe.........chuckle..............snort.-.LOL. Good one Albert. That will be a tough one to follow, but here goes: Few years back, I got my first Krell amp, the KSA-250 or something. Just got it, got one of the Logan CLS's hooked up (their best speaker ever IMO), and had to get the phone before the other one. Well, my buddy, who couldn't wait to hear it on the stats, decided he'd help out by hooking up the other speaker. Now, he really digs audio, but he has a tough time with electronics. Anyway, he fires it up, and there's no sound on one side. Hmm..... maybe the volume needs to be a little higher? Nope that didn't do it. So he waits for me to check it out. Well, the two spades were touching: dead short, blown fuse. I remark "No problem. Just a fuse. This is a KRELL we're talking about, these things are like brick you-know-whats" as I proudly run to my spare fuse collection that I learned to keep around. Stradling the amp, I fix the speaker connection, insert the new fuse, and bend way over to hit the power switch on the back of the amp. KABOOM. Shrappnel everywhere, including a capacitor projectile with a smoke trail that misses my genitals by about 3 hairs. I leap off the amp, check my manhood, and then look back, to see this 6" smoke ring floating to the ceiling in an ever so peaceful manner. He'll never hear the end of that one.

In my days of retail, a customer came into our audio store with a (then current) tube type receiver that was producing distorted output. The (other) older salesman that I respected so much says to the customer, "No need to send it to repair just yet, let me have a look at it." He then proceeds to unscrew and remove the wooden case and look inside for signs of trouble. Then, suddenly he picks it up, turns it upside down, and a crusty dead moth falls out on to the glass counter top. "There is the problem" he calls out. By this time the customer is looking intently into the inner workings of this receiver and asks, "Is that really it?" My co- worker looks long at him and says, "Yes, of course that is the problem, the engineer has died." By the way, this is a TRUE story, this guy was crazy.

In my younger days, I was playing keyboards and had just acquired a setup that included a huge Sun cabinet with an 18" woofer to handle the lower range of the keyboard, the middle and top being handled by two Cerwin Vega 12" professional monitors(which later were hooked up to an old Dynaco-80 amp and Crown 1 Pre to form an interesting home system)- ahem, so anyways, my car at that time was a red 1967 MGB(this is relevant). I am driving to my first gig with this huge Sun cabinet swallowing up the passenger seat, and I make a turn requiring a downshift. Unfortunately this behemoth cabinet slides over pinning my gearshift and arm. I am trying to muscle this thing off me and move the lever, which makes for an hysterical view for nearby drivers. How I got there without a wreck I still don't know. I guess you could say this was an issue of speaker/arm/transport compatibility. Groan. :)

Years ago, when I worked for an audio store that was part of a large shopping center, we had a reoccurring problem every night. Parents would leave their children to play with our musical instruments, Hi Fi gear, and music software, while they shopped for clothing or whatever in stores elsewhere in the mall. When closing time came (9:00 PM) most of us were tired and ready to leave, and frustrated by the troop of young stragglers. Sometimes we stayed as late as 9:30, waiting for Moms and Dads to come back and claim their children. One night when we were already ten minutes past closing, and our manager was frustrated by the usual bunch of children in the store, he surprised us all. The telephone system in the store could become a public address system, by pressing the correct keys. Suddenly we heard his voice, loud and clear, and with believable urgency, "Don't turn them Dobermans loose Clem, there's still little kids in here!" We closed less than three minutes later, with all the children outside our door, standing on the benches in the mall, "safely" waiting for their parents.

Years ago my amplifier designer buddy was discusted with a mediocre review that he recieved from TAS. They had said that his small "budget" amp , was just O.K.(as compared to their "reference" amp, which weighed 100lb+ , with big beefy handles, etc..). So he had a big beefy box made with his company's logo on it , and presented it at the next Consumer Electronic Show.This "amplifier" must have been the biggest box at CES that year. During the sound "demonstrations", everyone commented on the amplifier's great sense of ease, it's excellent dynamics, it's obvious refinement. Many a reviewer wanted to be the first to review his new "reference" amplifier. The new amp had a hidden hinged top cover, so that my buddy could show his closest friends the contents of his "reference" amplifier. What was inside? A mass marketed car stereo amplifier!