Hi Tom,
It was very well said. I understand the nature of the problem completely. I guess all I can say is that in a world where we have equipment makers such as DAC, preamp, amp, and last but not least speakers, and of course recording studios, each have their own ways of doing things. All I can say is how to try to fit in given all the variables.
As for how to voice a speaker, it's interesting that we have brands such as Sonus Faber, Spendor, Vandersteen who in the past tend to have a sound that is some what warm and musical, but have since become a lot more neutral in their sound lately.
In my personal design, when I design speakers with very flat frequency response, in order to pull that off, my external components have to be of fairly high quality (such as xover cap, front end electronics, cables ...) otherwise the sound will be somewhat on the harsh sound.
I have heard stories in which people have demoed Thiel speakers at the show room which sounded fabulous, but then they were very disappointed when they took the speakers home using their less than optimal equipment.
The brands which I have mentioned above whose sound has gone a lot more neutral lately may be because the quality of the
ancillary
equipment is now so much better than before, that they feel comfortable to be much neutral now without sacrificing sound quality.